Why am I Not Happy?

By Kuldip K. Rai

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Why am I not happy? From time to time, we all want to know the answer to this question.

Is it wise for us to say to ourselves, “Why am I not happy?” No, and yes. When we submit a question to our minds, it focuses on it and produces a variety of responses. We will always receive a response to whatever question we ask our minds. Your mind will undoubtedly come up with explanations for why you’re sad if you keep asking your mind. It will focus on the awful events going on in your personal circumstances and your surrounding. On the other hand, your mind will also answer the query if you ask it why you are glad and come up with positive answers. Asking a positive question is thus the simplest approach to shifting your perspective from a negative to a positive one.

We All Want Happiness

Happiness is what we all long to have, and it is a primary aspect of our existence. The pursuit of happiness has been ingrained in our genes, our culture, and our environment. All humans constantly pursue happiness because when you are happy, you feel great. You may be unhappy for many reasons, including loneliness, marital issues, financial difficulties, unresolved traumas, or other factors over which you have no influence, such as your genetics.

All of us occasionally encounter unhappiness in our lives. We all desire happiness; it is a crucial component of our existence. Our biology, society, and environment all encourage us to pursue happiness. Happiness is something that everyone strives for since it makes us feel great. Despite our relentless pursuit of happiness, some of us become permanently mired in unhappiness. Having an unhappy or depressed mood can be frustrating.

The feeling of unhappiness or depression can become frustrating, perplexing, and even overwhelming. What are the complexities of happiness? Let us get down to the basics and explore some of the possible reasons why you might be sad. By getting down to the basics and finding the root causes of unhappiness, we can move towards finding happiness, fulfillment and achievement in life.

The Illusion of Happiness

The majority of us mistakenly think that our happiness is determined by other people, things, or events. Society frequently emphasizes that we will be happy if we earn a certain level of material prosperity, accomplish a certain set of goals, gain social prestige, and become famous. But this outward-looking perspective frequently results in an endless circle of dissatisfaction. True happiness comes from within us rather than depending on other people or things. It is crucial that we change our attitude and concentrate on developing our inner joy and contentment.

How the Social Media Influences Us

In our digital age, social media platforms have become an integral part of our lives. While they offer connection and entertainment, they also present a significant source of unhappiness. When we start comparing ourselves to other seemingly perfect lives, it can lead us on a path to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and jealousy. Social media provides a reality that is idealized. In actuality, everyone faces unique difficulties. Be grateful for who you are and make an effort to cut back on your use of social media if you want to experience more happiness in your life. That might be able to lessen these unpleasant feelings.

Be Mindful

"Mindfulness brings peace, tranquility, and relaxation to our bodies and minds. When we become relaxed and comfortable, free of our past and future, the level of our concentration rises too."

Kuldip K. Rai, Inspire, Perspire, and Go Higher, Volume 1

How We Forget to Take Care of Ourselves

The person who takes the best care of yourself is you. Neglecting our own needs could be another source of sadness. We frequently neglect self-care, physical health, and emotional well-being in the quest for success or in an effort to live up to cultural standards. For general happiness, living a healthy, balanced lifestyle is crucial. This involves maintaining up eating well, exercising frequently, getting enough rest, and developing strong relationships. Self-care is not selfish; rather, it is an essential step on the road to happiness.

Do You Lack Purpose and Meaning?

Are you going through a phase in your life when you think of your life as meaningless or purposeless? When we give meaning and purpose to our lives, we become inspired to do things, and feelings of sadness begin to disappear. On the contrary, when we become uncertain of what we want to do with our lives or we feel cut off from our values, we may feel intensely unhappy. If that is time you are going through in your life, then do reflect on your hobbies, interests, and core values. Focus on something bigger than who you are. Things and activities that support our values and ideals can make us feel incredibly fulfilled and happy and help change the lives of others, too. Keep thinking, learning and expanding. That’s what this blog is all about to lead you higher up the mountain of success. Keep inspiring, perspiring and going higher and higher.

Let Go of Past Traumas

Do you think unresolved emotional baggage may be affecting you from the past? Is so, that may additionally render it difficult for you to be happy in the present. Deep emotional scars may persist below the surface. They may have an impact on your thoughts, emotions, and behavior that can be caused by painful experiences like the death of a loved one, the anguish of a broken relationship, mistreatment, and abuse.

Unresolved traumas and emotional loads do affect our daily lives, sometimes in subtle ways, when we endure them. Carrying so much load of traumas from the past, we may struggle to establish and maintain good relationships. At times, we may feel anxious or depressed without knowing why, or have issues with self-worth and self-esteem. Unsolved problems certainly can have a negative impact on our lives and can keep us from truly experiencing happiness.

“We have a lot going for us; we can conquer our fears. With the full use of our highly developed ability to think and perceive, we can, through the felt sense, consciously move out of the trauma response.”

Peter A. Levine, Healing Trauma

People who have gone through traumas can address and move through their past traumas in a safe and supportive environment by seeking professional assistance, such as therapy or counselling. Qualified therapists or counsellors can help them examine their experiences, emotions, and cognitive patterns in order to acquire understanding and create coping mechanisms.

It takes time to heal. Healing fully requires work, commitment, and self-care. Learning to forgive and let go can become an indispensable tool to leave behind all traumas. Letting go of the past is not easy, but if you want to be happy, you must forgive and let go. When we address our traumas and let go of the past with forgiveness, we reclaim our lives, becoming healthier and happier. The space that was once occupied by painful traumas suddenly becomes available for peace and happiness. Seek help if you are suffering. You would seek help if you had physical pain. Wouldn’t you? Then why won’t you seek help for your mental anguish and trauma? Seeking help is a courageous step toward healing and is not a sign of weakness.

Accept Yourself

Living in harmony with ourselves is truly essential for happiness. At times, we don masks to fit or adhere to cultural standards, which can result in an acute feeling of detachment from our true selves. Genuine happiness requires that we acknowledge who we truly are, live truthfully, and embrace our real selves. It enables us to develop deep connections, follow our passions, and feel a sense of community.

Don't Worry

Worry can eat you alive. In life, there is only one thing that we can possibly control which is ourselves. We have no control over others, circumstances, outside events, weather, or natural disasters. Worrying about things we have no control over is downright stupid. Do the best you are capable of doing in any given situation, and let the universe take care of the rest.

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”

Roy T. Bennett

In closing, I must say that the pursuit of happiness is a complex journey and is a deeply personal one. Why am I not happy? That is the question that we ask ourselves many times in our lives. To a degree, understanding the reasons behind our unhappiness can guide us towards finding lasting peace, happiness and fulfillment. If you’re just feeling down, just asking the opposite question can do the trick. Ask, “Why am I Happy?” You will find that when your mind is looking for reasons for your happiness, your focus will switch to happy thoughts.

In summary, by challenging the illusion of external factors, minimizing social media’s influence, prioritizing personal well-being, seeking purpose and meaning, addressing past traumas, and embracing authenticity, we can take significant strides towards reclaiming our happiness. In the end, I must say that happiness is not a destination, but it is rather a continuous process of self-discovery and self-growth.

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